About the creator of this site
A Cataclysmic Shift in My Universe
In 2010, my husband and I divorced. I won’t get into all the details, but here is what I will tell you:
- Our values changed with age. That chasm widened to the point of no return.
- He was depressed and the way he coped with his depression made communication difficult.
- I realized I was going to die. I know that might sound funny, but I hadn’t given my own demise much thought before. Realizing I wasn’t going to be here forever, I felt less willing to make compromises about what I wanted.
Our divorce actually wasn’t bad compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard. We had our painful moments and disagreements over finances, but we never stopped talking and laughing through most of it. (We did the divorce ourselves — no lawyers.)
Occasionally, I felt really sad and nostalgic over the change in our relationship. In those 22 years of marriage, we had been through a lot together and most, if not all, of my best memories include him. He was and still is my best friend. I love him more than anyone else on this planet. To give you an idea of how special he is, look at what he wrote in a card to me after I moved away:
“I don’t know how much you remember of our conversation yesterday. I do, honestly, sincerely, with every fiber of my being believe in your ability to not only “get by” on your website design/painting/writing/etc., but fully expect that you will be able to support yourself in the lifestyle you aspire to. Know when to give yourself a break and when to kick your butt (no gaming before 5 p.m.!). When you aren’t sure, feel free to give me a call and I’ll kick it for you.
I was sorry to see you go, but I’m glad you left. I’m proud of you for heading out on this bold new adventure toward getting what you really want. Love Ya, Bernie”
See? How could I not love him? I value his integrity, character and humor. He will always be family.