8) Expand Your Perspective
Is the world cruel or kind? Filled with pain or joy? Is it hostile or
friendly? Brutal or gentle? Is it filled with misery or hope? Which is
it?
It is all those things. This world contains all perspectives and evaluations.
Expanding your perspective isn't about becoming blind to the cruelty, it's
choosing a perspective that is mostly likely to help you create the life
you want, one that encourages happiness and joy.
Neither optimism nor pessimism are the more correct or accurate view of
life. Neither is more realistic than the other. Both are true. If you're
one of the many pessimists I've talked to about this, understand, your
perspective is no more realistic than optimism. Cold is no more true than
hot. Dry isn't more realistic than wet. They both exist.
The eye sees what it brings to seeing.
- Shelley
But you have a decision to make. Which are you going to focus on? Which
are you going to pay the most attention? Which perspective are
you going to see in it's totality? Which perspective are you going to make
the most dominant?
I don't think it's such a wild claim to say an optimistic perspective
is more encouraging of happiness than pessimism. What you look for, you
will find. If you look for hatred in the world, you will find it. If you
look for love in the world, you will find it.
You can see a perfect example of this is our news media. They've found
that negative news gets better ratings than positive. The more dramatic
and repugnant, the better. (If it bleeds, it leads.) So that's what
they focus on and look for. If you watch the news on a regular basis
you might start to think that this
world is filled with nothing but hostile, angry, hateful, dishonest
and cruel people. It's a warped perspective. Where are the stories
about all
the loving, happy, gentle, honest and sweet people out there? Obviously
they're out there, but where are the stories?
If our goal is to be "realistic" then you would need to see
all sides. I would highly recommend turning off the news for a week or
two. Don't worry, if anything important happens, there's lots of people
willing (and wanting) to keep you updated.
When you change your perspective, you change your experience of the world.
It's all a matter of intention. Which perspective do you intend to focus
on? We're not talking about some Pollyanna view where you deny all sadness
and pain. Which are you going to LOOK FOR? Which are you going to emphasize?
The optimism perspective allows you to...
Turning A Disadvantage Into An Advantage
Sometimes a little shift in perspective is all it takes to
turn a disadvantage into an opportunity. When we feel closed in and
helpless, it's not because of some permanent external state, but
from a limited perspective. This world we live in can not exist without
it's opposite. You can't have cold with out hot. You can't have restriction
without opportunity.
Let me give you a concrete example of what I mean. A while back I started
a new job across town. It was a long drive, about 45 minutes and I loathed
it. It was boring, cost me time and gas money, and I had to do it every
day, twice (to and from the job)! What possible advantage or opportunity
was there in this situation? I really enjoyed the job but I couldn't think
of how to enjoy the long drive or make it an opportunity.
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
- Albert Einstein
Then one day it hit me. Hey! My car has a tape player. I love listening
to personal growth tapes, and normally, I can't find the time to listen
to them at home. Eureka! The time spent in the car became MY time, where
I could relax, think, and improve my life. When I ran out of tapes, I bought
new ones which I then looked forward to enjoying. My car became a rolling
university. I began to look forward to my drive to and from work. It was
one of the pluses of the day.
Do you think I would have created this opportunity if I wasn't looking
for it? If I hadn't looked for and found this solution, it's very likely
that I would have quit a job I enjoyed.
From what I've experienced with disadvantage and opportunity, it seems
that it's not a matter of IF the opportunity or advantage is out there,
but simply a matter of SEEING it. You can only see it if you expand your
perspective. When you make a decision that you will find the good in this
world, it expands your vision to see opportunities that were out of sight
when you were looking at the hopelessness.
Let give you one more example of turning a disadvantage into an advantage
when I had to deal with a difficult
boss.

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