What It Means To Love Someone

What Is Love?

Throughout history, we have made love out to be mysterious and complex. It’s the subject of endless poems and literary works – many of which are contradictory. Maybe if we define it, it would lose its magic. We do love a good mystery. You can distill love down to three key components.

3 Intrinsic Values of Love

Love is Accepting.
Acceptance is labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change them. Who they are is perfectly fine with you. You pose no condition on whether you will love them or not. This is call unconditional love. When your love IS conditional, the moment they step outside your set of conditions, love wanes. Consequently, love is rarely a constant state but fluctuates based on your degree of acceptance.

Love is Appreciating.
Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. It’s when your focus is on what you really like about someone. We look at them and feel this sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their insights, their humor, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are "in love" with another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every thought. With that kind of love, you like the idea of having them forever.

Love is Wanting The Best For Them.
We want the people we love to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally. Often times, we’re willing to help them get just that.

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Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full acceptance, even celebration of another's personhood.

- Karen Casey

You Got Questions

I detest love lyrics. I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on love lyrics.

- Frank Zappa