Removing The Obstacles In Your Way
Now that you've identified who you want to be, and what you want to do and have, let's look at the obstacles you perceive to be in your way of accomplishing those things. I'm here to tell you, although it may appear as if the roadblocks are real, tangible things (time, availability, money, ability, etc), most of the problem is an issue of perception and belief. Nine times out of ten, it has to do with fear. Where there's fear, there's stagnation. Somehow when you transform your beliefs, what was once an obstacle, becomes doable. New beliefs can allow you to see your way around or through the obstacle.
Beliefs are any ideas you think are true about yourself, others, and life. Many of the beliefs you hold today, are the result of a) what your parents/guardians believed, b) what your friends believed and/or c) what you've been told is true by a perceived authority.
Unfortunately, some of those beliefs are not helping you in your life. What if you looked at yourself as the accumulation of all the beliefs you’ve been exposed to and took on as our own. And what if you made a vow to rebuild yourself with new more useful beliefs? What belief system would you build?
Would it be one that supported your desires and wants? One that gave you the greatest freedom? Encouraged happiness? Some beliefs are counter-productive to what you say you want. Wouldn't it be nice to identify those beliefs? Examine them for validity? There are so many self-defeating beliefs but here are just a few I've identified in myself and others. Do you believe any of the following?
Self Defeating Beliefs
- I don't have time to do what I want.
- I can't change. This is just the way I am.
- I'd be selfish if I focused on my desires.
- I have to be realistic. People who are optimistic aren't realistic.
- I have to have [love, sex, new car, money, etc] to be happy.
- No pain, no gain.
- You have to do some things in this life you don't want to do.
- You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
- If my happiness was a priority, I'd be inconsiderate of others.
- It's a dog-eat-dog world out there
Changing Your Beliefs
So far this site has mainly engaged you at the reading level. Changing the beliefs that are causing you pain is where the rubber really hits the road. If you are serious about wanting to turn your life around, you're going to have to go beyond simply reading. You will not experience any lasting change reading about ideas. Oh, I'm all for ideas. I love to read too. But real change doesn't happen until it's personal.
I don't know if you're like me, but I have read a lot of books, attended a lot of programs, listened to umpteen tapes and talked about personal growth an awful lot. But none of this really made any huge difference in how I felt, what I did, or helped me get what I wanted, at least in the long term.
I'm telling you this because I've been where you are. If you're reading this, you're searching for answers. I didn't experience any concrete changes in my life until I was exposed to the Options. Although the Option way of questioning has been compared to many different types of psychotherapies, it is radically different than anything I've ever experienced.
It's the only process I've found that not only helped me changed my mind, but where you could visibly see the differences in my life. And isn't that what we all want? I mean it's nice to feel inspired and get high off a new realization, but what I really wanted was to feel better about myself and life on a more consistent basis. I wanted to be able to pursue my desires without all the fears (and they were numerous.) I wanted to make more permanent changes where I didn't keep falling back into old habits that weren't working. The Option Method did all that for me.
There are two ways to change a belief, using either Option or the Lefkoe Method. Interestingly enough, their core ideas are remarkably similar. Once you change a belief, you'll never look back.
The Option Institute
Founder Barry Neil Kaufman offers the most amazing personal growth retreats and The Option Process® Dialogue. (This is the one where I have spent most of my time.) Schedule an Option Process® Dialogue for yourself. Also check out the Belief Makers Blog on a wide range of ideas all centered around beliefs.
Center for the Option Method
Bruce Di Marsico created the Option Method in 1970. His students and the subsequent students that followed continue his teachings putting their own unique personalities, discoveries, developments and variations to it. Offers the Option Method Dialogue.
The Morty Lefkoe Method Institute
Lefkoe's Free Online Tool for Changing Beliefs
(Definitely give this one a go!)